You can buy cheesy floor mats that tell the deliverers: “Please hide packages from my husband” or “Please hide packages from my wife”.
Splashing, it seems, is a lot of people’s dirty little secret.
The penny hoarder recently surveyed nearly 2,000 Americans about their household and spending habits and found that 1 in 4 respondents kept a purchase a secret from their significant other for fear of their reaction.
57% of them were women. The survey also found that 62% of those who said they made a secret purchase are in credit card debt.
Those who kept a purchase hidden from their significant other were also more likely to spend in the past two years, affecting their ability to pay bills.
What is it that makes us keep our expenses so secret?
“I think a lot of this has to do with just not talking about money,” said Brittany Davis, accredited financial advisor and associate financial planner at Brunch and budget. “People don’t like to discuss money and I think this has to stop.”
Manage money – honestly – as a couple
Experts say people stay dumb about their expenses because it’s easier than potentially pissing off their partner. If you knew that saying “I lost $ 200 on Nikes” or “I’m going all in on crypto” would spark an argument, it’s tempting to just keep silent.
Aligning money conversations with common goals can help couples eliminate the secret issues.
Broke Millennial Talks Money writer Erin Lowry recently spoke to The Penny Hoarder about have tough financial talks. One piece of advice she gave couples was to set financial goals together and refer to those goals when there is disagreement about how to spend money.
“[Think] about what you want this year, what you want in the next three to five years, what your future should be, ”said Lowry. “Is your money being geared towards these goals?”
Set goals that you will actually achieve by setting them SMART goals. They should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely.
Set a regular budget date for the night or Family budget meeting is a way to get in the habit of talking openly about money.
“You don’t have to get into the numbers,” said Davis. “You can just talk about it, ‘Hey, I feel guilty about this spending habit.” “
“The goal is to keep the meeting short and casual and to talk about where you are and where you want to be,” said Scott Henderson, accredited financial advisor and marketing manager at Qube money.
He suggested that couples should set a monthly amount that any person can spend, spent guilt free and without questions. Founding a Fun money Budget gives everyone the freedom to spend as they see fit without having to worry about the partner’s reaction – and without hampering financial commitments or goals.
Do you really want these Nikes? If you have $ 200 in your fun money fund, give it a try.
Sharing the same budgeting tools can help. Qube money, for example, is a budgeting app that allows couples to set up a shared account with real-time transaction notifications so each partner knows completely what is happening with their money, Henderson said.
Not ready for so much sharing? Another solution for couples is to keep their finances separate. You both agree to meet an agreed portion of household bills, expenses and savings, and the rest of your money is free to spend as you wish.
You don’t need to keep a purchase a secret from your significant other as you have this autonomy built into your spending already.
Know when to bring in a professional
Not all financial problems in a relationship are easy to solve. Sometimes it is best to consult a professional before getting into another argument.
A Financial advisor or a financial therapist – both of which are very different from a financial planner or advisor – can help clear up financial infidelity in your relationship. The association for financial advice and educational planning has one Portal where you can search for an Accredited Financial Advisor (AFC). The Association for Financial Therapy maintains a Directory of Financial Therapists.
The Association for Financial Advice and Educational Planning offers free consultations for people who have got into financial difficulties due to the pandemic.
Whether or not you seek help from an objective third party, it’s important to come up with a plan that gives each person some degree of autonomy in their spending without destroying your mutual monetary goals.
Because nobody needs secret expenses to derail their finances – or their relationship.
Nicole Dow is a senior writer at The Penny Hoarder.
This article originally appeared on www.thepennyhoarder.com